Waiting on time.

What does that mean? Well that means that I have been busy wasting time instead of getting things done within the time frames that I have. I guess I am really not interested in changing; I guess that I am content with the way that things are and I really am not. I can come on here and give myself so many motivational speeches and self lectures but nothing is getting to me. I got finishing school on one side of my brain and working out this talent that I am just not passionate about anymore. I have lost my way so many times and when I find it, I start thinking that I need to change up EVERYTHING in my life and that is not right…or is it? I often catch myself in unstable moments because as soon as I get inspired by one thing, I start feeling like I need to go off and major in it to be someone and I just don’t have that kind of time. If you are wondering what the battle is, it is an internal battle with the self fighting the self. This battle is always ending in a rematch and I hate that. I hate that I can never come up with something, set it in my mind and leave it at that. With the back and forth about school and what I want to do, I just keep going in an out of passion because I am not sure what God wants me to do. I get so overwhelmed whenever I start thinking about what I could do with THIS and what I could do what THAT and I get so jealous to think that someone else may come along and steal the idea…which makes me delay even longer. So what is it going to be? Is it going to be the red pill or the blue pill? Hmm.