30 Days of Confidence-The End.

Oh my gosh I thought I’d never see the end! Not in a bad way but like always, I procrastinated and I ended up having to do a ton of mass posts just to complete this challenge. I just got so caught up with school and it became harder for me to keep up with my blog and this challenge but I really wanted to do it. It means a lot to me and I don’t really care what other people might say or think and so it’s here. It took longer than expected but I am really proud of myself for having the guts to go ahead with this challenge. So, I am now to the end of the challenge and I want to say WHY I started something like this.

I started this challenge for myself back in 2011 and I kept it to myself. I don’t know why I did it but something or someone rather gave me the bright idea to do it. I was finally to the point where I just couldn’t take feeling lower than the lowest and at the point, I had had time to reflect, be alone and think about me. I wasn’t going to school and I was away from the campus but I was working to make money to save up to move. My plans failed though and I was back to square one. I kept my head up and didn’t let my failure get the best of me and that right there is something I always do. Yes I complain about my problems just like any other person and sometimes I complain (well always) to the WRONG person but I always keep going. Even with everything that I have been through, I have never stopped doing what I was doing. Many times I felt pressured from life to quit college and even take my own life but I didn’t and I am proud of me for doing so too.

I would like to post something from the last time that did this challenge in 2011 that I wrote. It’s funny how in that challenge, I procrastinated with writing those journals too! Man! I don’t know what I am going to have to do to help me with stoping to procrastinate! I kind of feel like when I have too much on my plate it’s like ARGH! to me but when I don’t have enough I get comfortable and lazy and I start to procrastinate on things. With school though, school is my main focus but I find myself behind the computer browsing up things that I shouldn’t be because they can wait. I have got to work on more will power for staying away from social networks and off my cellphone. Anyway here it is,

But before I go, I do want to mention my purpose for starting “31 days of Confidence”. Before I started, I just realized how I would spend hours on journals, just highlighting what I thought was the “WORSE IN ME” and by October, I had had enough. I just felt that there was more to me that just me journal-ing about how I wasn’t pretty or how I was too dark or how I was very fat…and I just couldn’t take it anymore. Whatever heard my cry, encouraged me to start this challenge. In the challenge I would tweet something about myself that I liked, loved, or whatever made me feel great about myself. Then I would come on LiveJournal and write about that topic in detail. Me doing this has really shown me some great things about myself and I have learned that just because I am feeling down, I don’t have to go in on attacking myself on my looks, talents, or skills. I am a very beautiful, talented, and skilled young woman with the personality to match and there isn’t any reason why I have to keep dissing myself, regardless of the past. I can’t go back and change how things played out for me but I can change how my future will play out for me. Me dissing myself got old after a while and I just wanted something new and different for myself. I wanted better for myself and I knew that I could do it.

It takes a lot of faith to stand on your two feet and do something like this especially since I had the fear of being laughed at. Everyone gets laughed at from time to time but when you are used to being laughed at in a hurtful way, you sometimes shy away from doing things because you don’t want to get made fun of. Growing up, really the only thing that was instilled in me as a child were Christian values and not confidence. I had to learn being confident on my own.

And like I said before, completing this challenge has definitely helped me see my weaknesses and also my strengths and I am happy about that. I am glad that I am learning how to stand on my own but I still feel like my work is not done. This is only the beginning and I want to keep going with this too. Though I don’t think that I will do “30 Days of Confidence” again because I just feel like I am ready to leave it in the state that it’s in, I do feel I can do other things from this. I would like to grow other positive challenges for myself to do so we will see. Thanks for letting me share this challenge with you though.

30 Days of Confidence-Day 30

Day 30: I got a big heart, that sometimes gets me into trouble

“A good heart is better than all the heads in the world.” -Edward Bulwer-Lytton

Yes I do have a big heart that does often get me into trouble. I guess what I mean by that is this, I am always ready to help those who truly don’t deserve it but because I feel like it’s the right thing to do, then I do it. I don’t like being crapped on and many would say that I need to stop helping people out who don’t care for my help but I just have that Bible verse drilled into my head and heart. You know the one that I am talking about right? Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you? (Matthew 7:12) I sometimes do think about what I will get out of helping people because I am just used to being forgotten when the time comes for shout outs. But I recently had it revealed to me that thinking like that was wrong and that I should help someone because it’s the right thing to do and not for rewards. I know many of us often deal with people who may seem so ungrateful towards us and don’t have good ways of showing appreciation and it hurts. It hurts to be forgotten but please know that someone is watching you and does see all of your good deeds. Just because you may not see them watching you, doesn’t mean that you are not noticed. =)

Quotes from Wisdom Quotes

30 Days of Confidence-Day 29

Day 29: I am quiet…on first approach

“Just because you don’t say much doesn’t mean people don’t notice you. It’s actually the quiet ones who often draw the most attention. There’s this constant whirlwind of motion and sound all around, and then there’s the quiet one, the eye of the storm.” ―Amy Efaw, After

Well I am. Being quiet is something that comes natural to me. But with being quiet you think people wouldn’t bother me about it or give me a hard time since I am not bothering anyone…SIKE. That is the complete opposite. I feel like I am always under the bus for being quiet and with most of the criticism I get I be like, “well okay I can change that about me…” but the rest I just feel like people just be speaking just to be speaking and that it’s more harm than help. I will say that the only thing that really helped me with learning how to speak more to strangers was working in retail. I was often put at the register closest to the door to greet people coming in and out. I admit I was a little nervous at first but then I got used to it. I also was the one who was expected to introduce themselves first which was something that I wasn’t used to either. But once I got the hang of it, I felt better about me. I know that might seem kind of nerdy but I really did. I still do stutter sometimes and I often forget to say my name but public speaking is still growing on me! I am making it work for the better but my comfort zone is still going to be in the quiet! I’m sorry!

Quotes from Good reads

30 Days of Confidence-Day 28

Day 28: I can be shy, but everyone can

I’m shy.“…and how many times have you heard that from someone? Even I myself have said a many of times that I am shy but now that I look at things I don’t really think I am all that shy. Now I can be very much so, especially since I am just not too used to being around a whole bunch of people but I think everyone can be. Some people are just better at hiding it than others. I sometimes don’t like saying that I am shy but sometimes it comes natural for me to say that in many cases since I have said it many times before. I don’t mean to say it but since I am so used to saying it, it comes out and then whenever I try to talk about wanting to be adventurous and whatnot I have people constantly remind me that I am too shy for that. I really don’t like it when that happens either. I feel like I have done a lot of things with the fact of me being a little nervous and shy that I wouldn’t normally do but I feel like girls often have to remind me of the things that I try to talk to them about. It’s kind of like they agree with me and say that they are dealing with similar issues but then throw it back in my face whenever I say I want to do something positive with me life. Really, never knew why so many girls had guys as best friends. Now…I am really starting to see why they do. Females can be so mean to one another and it’s like they always go back on their word and I’ve noticed that. When I talk to the guy friends that I have been making, they don’t do that. Guys are more laid back and females are just so vicious and nasty nowadays and it’s sad.

In a nutshell, I really thinks it’s okay to be shy at first. I know some people say that first impressions are everything but I don’t really think I agree with that. I know how shy I am at times and I’ve always been pushed in the front and told to speak up first. Though I didn’t like that I did it anyway and I somehow got a little more comfortable with speaking more. Sometimes shy people just need that one person who isn’t that shy to help pull them out and let them know it’s okay to come out and play. I never had anyone do that for me so I had to come out on my own and know that speaking up is okay. Any who, that is all for now friends! I really couldn’t find any good quotes or pictures to post about being shy but I guess I will post on of me? This is me last semester for my induction ceremony for Sigma Alpha Pi. I took this in my dorm room but yeah. Have a great night.

Photo credit: My flickr (*sweettae)

 photo 98adb668-cd24-4743-a2f9-35982b8a43e6_zpscf58821a.jpg

30 Days of Confidence-Day 27

Day 27: I am an original

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” -E.E. Cummings

“I stay true myself and my style, and I am always pushing myself to be aware of that and be original.” -Aaliyah

I really do like being me. I like the way that I am, even though there are some small things about me that I think I can change and improve upon I do still like me now. I don’t like to follow the crowd and I don’t have to be around a million people to feel significant. I do enjoy hanging out but I would rather not be around huge crowds; don’t like that feeling of getting lost in the crowd. I have a many of times tried to change me when I wasn’t ready because I thought that it was what everyone else wanted and I was the one who ended up not happy. I might not be the one who always has to make a scene but I much rather not be that person. I want you to know I am there without me being outrageous, you know? And one reason why I really like Aaliyah so much is because she was real big on being an original artist and doing her own thing and not following the crowd. I really liked that about her. Well have a great night.

Quotes from Quote Garden
Photo credit: Me, Graphic Nerdy Studio’s InstaGram
[EDIT]Deleted @Gnerdystudio[/EDIT]

 photo c56057bb-0140-4795-9a00-4fd84492a5a3_zpscf18170b.jpg